The Grimy Things Women Do

By Veronica Wells

Lead men on

“Let’s be honest, we love attention. And some of us will go to great lengths to get a keep a man’s eyes glued, even if we could honestly care less about him. (Ouch!) Sometimes we’re trying to protect the feelings of guy friend but other times…we just need a TP (testosterone provider) to get us through the dearth of eligible men.  If you are trying to do the right thing by a friend, just let him know now. Otherwise you’ll end up snapping later when he doesn’t seem to get the real message you were trying to send…just two months too late.”

Talk about other Women

“Whew! We’ve got to do better. Everybody talks about everybody but women engage in some of the most scandalous, back-stabbing conversations around. Who among us hasn’t been in the company of women who just dogged their “best friend” like she was a stranger on the street minutes after she left the room. One thing I notice about the XY types is that they say some rude and reckless things about their friends too, but it’s often to their face. We could stand to get like them… in that regard.”

Expect men/people to read our minds

“We’re so wrapped up in our thoughts that we feel everyone else should be just as in tune. I mean geez notice the signs: I’ve been ignoring your jokes, sitting at the other end of the couch and giving you the silent treatment for the past two hours?!? Even though I told you “everything’s fine” in my fake voice surely you should feel that something isn’t right. Ha! It sounds silly when you read it, but that’s exactly how we act sometimes…and we’re dead wrong. Communication is key, otherwise you’ll just end up exploding later when you see him laughing and enjoying life while you fester in your feelings.”

Say “No” too often

“This one is tricky. Due to the ever growing percentage of male whores out there, we women have to be careful; but, in the rare opportunity when a brother who’s done nothing wrong (yet) steps to you respectfully and with some semblance of game, why not give him a chance? We’ve all fallen victim to rejecting the guy who walked across the club to ask us to dance while every other dude on the floor is just running up dry humping everything in sight. This same no principle continues in the context of a relationship, whether in the bedroom or not, sometimes we just need to be more open.”

Indulge in jealousy

“We are constantly comparing ourselves to other women, the way we dress, the way we wear our hair, how many men tried to holler etc. The list could go on for days. Instead of validating ourselves we constantly look to other people to make us feel better, if only for the moment. When no one’s around to do so- that green eyed monster infiltrates our brain and starts talking real crazy. Instead of ignoring the little devil we fall right into his lies.”

Use our femininity/sexuality for personal gain

“Our sexuality and femininity are gifts from the divine, a powerful blessing and curse. So powerful is this weapon of ours that some of us use it for financial gain. Too often there’s a woman out there who’s ready to spread her legs or break in a new pair of knee pads to “get some where in life.” I’m not talking about the woman who just enjoys sex, I’m referring to the manipulative woman who believes her talents and non-sexual skills aren’t enough to compete against the men and women that are hustling for theirs.”

Chase after money

“We women want to be comfortable, in fact men want the same thing. But in this quest to get money we can’t sell our souls. There are so many of us out there who will cling to a man we have no physical, emotional or spiritual connection to simply because he can pay our bills and buy us a couple of shiny things. It’s quite sickening, not to mention it puts men on constant alert when a genuine woman is trying to get to know him and not his wallet.”

Worship our hair

“I was talking to my mom on the phone the other day and she said, “When I had my sister locs, I thought I was the ‘s,’” (She doesn’t cuss well.) “Which is probably why God took them away from me.” *Busts out laughing.* You see my mother is a breast cancer survivor and when she went through chemo therapy she asked my father to shave her head so she wouldn’t have to watch her hair fall out. That was an important lesson. Our hair is beautiful and unique and fabulous, but at the end of the day it shouldn’t define us.

But unfortunately as the movement toward natural hair continues, women across the nation are getting out of control. Your blackness isn’t found in your hair, your identity isn’t in there and neither is your soul. If you’re addicted to Remy, weave on, if you can’t breath without a relaxer, straighten on and if you’re au naturale, let your fro free; but know, the hair we dote over so much is dead. So stop trippin’ because it could all be gone tomorrow.”

Over analyze

“We sit and think and rehash and recreate and rework, revise and replay our most unpleasant memories so often that our mental DVD is scratched. For one reason or another we can’t let the past go. This mental mind game wouldn’t be so bad if it didn’t affect our present day actions and feelings toward certain folks. We replay the wrongs inflicted upon us by a man from ten years ago. And the really sick part is, while we’re sitting there letting him occupy our thoughts, he’s moved on, married, with three kids who he takes to Disney World every year. Don’t you want to see Mickey? Then you have to let it go.”

Give in to our nosy nature

“Somehow many of us inherited the Inspector Gadget gene. Whether we’re in a secure, stable healthy relationship or we knew dude was wrong the moment we met him, it’s in our nature to want to know. I hear men say “I don’t want to know ” all the time and they genuinely mean it. We may say we don’t want to know but when presented with the opportunity to gain a little information, we’ll seize it every time and most the time we end up stressed out because of it. If you suspect, you’re probably right so just go ahead and confront the man.”

Seek Revenge

“After all the time over analyzing, we’ve come to the conclusion that somebody has to pay! Whether it’s that backstabbing girlfriend, your low-down, dirty ex-boyfriend or the waitress who rolled her eyes at you, they must suffer the consequences of their actions. I remember in second grade my best friend did something to piss me off so I aimed my Capri Sun at her shirt and squirted. I laugh at the story now, but it really is sick. Seeking revenge is so unhealthy. Not only is it a viscous cycle, you might just do something that’ll land you in prison or even worse an insane asylum.”

One Response to “The Grimy Things Women Do”

  1. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Killamanjaro and ☛ Chris Benjamin, ☛ Chris Benjamin. ☛ Chris Benjamin said: The Grimy Things Women Do […]

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