Tips for a Stronger Love Life
By China Okasi
A love life must begin with yourself, before it can truly permeate through other people. If you don’t maximally love yourself, you might struggle to even minimally hold on to the love of someone else. At all points, you must remember your dignity, your self-worth and your own obligations to be healthy and happy. That said, you should also be willing to select a mate that understands the need for these qualities in you and in himself. Just as you must be “right” in your soul, you must pick a mate that is unapologetically “right” in his morals, in his output and in his views of life.
The minute you compromise your values and you join with a man who doesn’t believe in monogamy, and in the sacredness of one family, and in one love and in one big ocean of respect for his woman, your love life will fail and you will become another statistic. Sustain your love life with these four key reminders: communicate, meditate, resuscitate and eliminate.
To sustain your love life, you must clarify what exactly is causing you to withdraw, react, be happy, be sad, be satisfied, be unsatisfied, be joyful, be pregnant…you get the drift. Whether you’re feeling down and it’s causing you to behave differently, or you’re feeling grateful for the presence of your mate, you have to ensure that you’re communicating your thoughts. Love partners are not mind readers. And, it take a while to understand what a brand new person, or even a longtime person, in your life really means when he or she speaks. Take the time to listen as well as share.
In love relationships, so much happens that you find yourself tempted often to make decisions or react without thinking through circumstances. For that reason, you need to meditate over your relationships and re-discover the joys of why you’re in them in the first place. Meditation is meant to bring you clarity, so if after meditating you’re not able to channel the fundamental joy of why you’re in a love relationship, you need to re-evaluate the relationship. If you are in a love life that sometimes falls victim to the hustle and bustle, go back to that fundamental joy of being with one another, by meditating.
Relationships are like plants. Don’t let them wilt and wither away. Constantly revive and enliven them by watering them with new energy and ideas. Feed them with nutrients from your soul. Say “thank you” and give compliments to your loved one, and ensure that he or she feels on top of the world. Such things put a bounce in your and your lover’s step, and make each of you happy to be in a relationship.
Eliminate the b.s., seriously. If you want a strong love life, you really don’t have time to obsess over inconsequential details or trap yourself in a situation in which you’re really not happy. Don’t pretend to be happy, or convince yourself that maybe one day you’ll be better fulfilled in a fundamentally unfulfilling relationship. A strong love life is happy at its core, and is free of random, heavy, and unnecessary balls of sadness, confusion and dissatisfaction hanging over your head daily. Make a deliberate decision to be happy every day in your relationship. Don’t fuss over the tiny thing your man/woman said 12 years ago when he was half-asleep. Let go and let God!